I think about obituaries more than many in my wide-circle of friends do.
This isn’t some age-oriented obsession, I’ve collected obits for years. People mail them to me from all over. So perhaps it isn’t surprising that when I learned that Reince Priebus had been fired, the first thing I thought about was how his obit would read: “Shortest serving Chief of Staff in White House history.”
Of course, Anthony Scaramucci’s obit will now read: “Shortest-serving Communications Director in White House history.”
And before either Priebus and Scaramucci there was Michael Flynn, whose obit will read: “Shortest-serving National Security Advisor in White House history.”
The White House has been busy making a lot of history lately. All of it short.
I’m hoping for that moment when the headlines scream: “Shortest-serving presidential term in US History.”
To say the Trump administration is a hot mess would be an understatement. I haven’t seen this much chaos since the all-white youth group at Rose Hill Baptist made a pitch to do ministry work at the primarily all-black housing projects, located a stone’s throw from the church. It wasn’t long after that hot mess that our youth group leader “got a call” to go elsewhere.
True, that was back in the early 70s when Southern churches were heavily segregated and when it was still illegal in some places for whites and blacks to marry. And let’s face it, if you can’t go to church together, marriage is out of the question as well. I haven’t lived in the South for a long time but most of the churches I’ve attended across this nation remain segregated. Just like the White House.
Clearly, a large part of the reason Donald Trump wanted the job as president is because he likes the idea of keeping the White House White and so do his tribe. If you doubt that, just hop over to any post in which Obama is mentioned. It won’t take long to run into degrading racism followed by the cursory “God Bless America Again.”
A hot mess.
Are none of these people working in this administration worried at all about the lasting legacy they create for their children and grandchildren?
Well, I mean, we know Anthony Scaramucci isn’t concerned about it. Hellfire, he didn’t even show up for his own son’s birth. (Ah, that GOP, gotta hand it to them on that whole family values front.)
Now he’s lost his wife.
His most recent job.
And now his obituary is forever going to connect him as the “shortest-serving White House Communications Director in US History.” Unless, of course, the next person to step into that role lasts even less hours than he did.
I keep wondering does anyone currently serving in this administration think working for Trump will help beef up their resume?
Do they not care that being associated with Trump is like bragging about being besties with Casey Anthony?
“Yeah, me and Casey we was real tight. We used to party every night, you know until her daughter turned up missing. I don’t think Casey had anything to do with her little girl’s murder. She isn’t the type. Casey just likes to have fun. Yeah, I did have a funny feeling in my stomach when I found the duct tape under the front seat of her car. It still had some strands of baby fine hair stuck to the sticky side of the roll.But, honest-to-pete, I think Casey is innocent of all charges. People just have it in for her because she’s so beautiful.”
I don’t know yet how my own obit will read but I can assure you the one thing it will never say – “She was the shortest-serving fill-in-the-blank for the Trump administration.”
There is no amount of money or power that would make me betray my own values that way.
Lately, I’ve been having some serious talks with God about that whole gated-community offered by Eternity Real Estate. I’ve told him that if he lets Trump into heaven, I want a damn border wall erected between my mansion and Trump’s. I’ve told God that keeping the two of us apart could be a matter of intergalactic security.
God said he’d do his best since the last thing he wants in heaven is a hot mess on his hands.
Well, then, I suggested, “You might want to consider locking that gate when the Trump folks start arriving. Trust me, they don’t intend to stay long anyway.”
Karen Spears Zacharias is author of the forthcoming CHRISTIAN BEND (Mercer University Press).