A letter to Anne Rice
Dear Ms. Anne:
You don’t know me, so please excuse the intrusion. I hope you won’t think this too forward but I read about your recent remarks about quitting Christianity:
“For those who care, and I understand if you don’t: Today I quit being a Christian. I’m out. I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being “Christian” or to being part of Christianity. It’s simply impossible for me to “belong” to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten …years, I’ve tried. I’ve failed. I’m an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.”
I respect your decision. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve felt the exact same way, but I lacked the gumption to declare it as boldly as you have done. I simply went about muttering, wishing for everything that I belonged to a different clan. A more perfect community.
I thought about all that during this morning’s church service. I don’t attend a very large church, but it’s large enough that I don’t know everyone by name or by story. Take that lady passing out the programs at the door. I don’t know her at all. I don’t know if she’s married or lost the love of her life to a fiery plane crash during World War II. I don’t know what sufferings life has brought her way. For all I know hers could be one of the dozens of names listed weekly in the Prayer for those diagnosed with Cancer.
Sometimes, it’s a relief to not know people. It keeps a person from the obligation of sharing their sorrows or from the disappointment of discovering their failings.
That’s the thing about being in relationship with others. I don’t know about you Ms. Anne, but I’ve found that to be true whether you are in relationship with people who belong to the clan of Christianity or if they are the friends you made at the local Farmers’ Market. Hang with people long enough and you’re going to be disgusted by them. They’ll do something that hurts so badly you’ll wonder why in the world you ever considered them a friend to begin with.
You’ll feel as betrayed as Jesus. On some level you’ll know that’s ludicrous — there’s no way you can know the betrayal of the Cross. But you’ll still feel that you understand his pain the way he understands yours.
That’s how God designed us.
Desmond Tutu says we’re created for goodness. He says that’s why we feel so good when we do good things — because we are designed for it.
I believe that.
I also believe that God created us so that we are able to identify with each other. He created us to feel what others feel. That’s why when a person lacks the ability to be empathetic, we consider them a sociopath or narcissistic.
We are designed for relationship, created for community. The good and bad of it all.
I was thinking about all that today as the man three rows in front of me raised his hands in worship. You see for the past four weeks he’s been confined to a hospital bed at Oregon’s Health Science Center University Hospital. His poor body has withstood about all the suffering a person can withstand. I don’t know if it it’s the cancer that will take him finally or the treatment he receives for it.
And today I didn’t care about that. What I cared about was that he was on his feet, arms extended, praising the Christ whose blood has cleansed us all from the inside out. The Christ whose mercies are new every morning.
I stood next to a woman whose husband has been deployed so many times to Afghanistan and Iraq that he has missed his daughter’s entire high school career. Now that he’s home from those wars, he no longer has any fight left in him. He’s walked out on them. I hurt for that girl. I know what it’s like to lose a daddy to war — whether you do it through death or through trauma matters not. She’s going to have wrangle some demons for her faith one day. I pray that when that day comes, she’ll come to understand as I have, that God is faithful in ways that people never can be.
I hope she’ll find that he will never leave nor forsake her — no matter what. He’s not like us that way.
I have a friend in Alabama who found an orphaned dog. She named the dog Sticks because he never leaves her side. He sticks right beside her all the day long.
We serve the God Sticks.
Two rows in front of that young girl sat a woman who has endured a lung transplant. To be honest, when we were praying for her as a community, I figured they’d be wheeling her out of the hospital in a body bag. That’s how small my faith is sometimes. I’m a skeptic. A cynic. I’m ashamed of it but that’s the truth of it.
God proves me wrong all the time. I’m glad for that. I know people, Believers and Unbelievers, who care more about being right than they do about being redeemed.
Down the pew directly in front of me sat a young woman. Another single mom with another infant child to raise alone. I watched as a white-haired lady walked across the aisle during the singing and took that young mother’s face into her withered hands and spoke words of encouragement and love to her.
I stood there, weeping, because I belong to a flawed but courageous community. They have discovered ways to share in the sufferings and joys of one another, despite the disappointments.
The Polish have a blessing: May your soul be as strong as your people.
My soul is stronger because I’m able to witness the remarkable redeeming power of Christ through the community of Believers and Unbelievers, alike.
The thing about opting out of the clan of Christians, Ms. Anne, is that when we do that, we run the risk of missing the blessing God created us for.
I just wanted to share that with you.
Humbly,
Karen
I spent over 20 years in the watchtower organization and left it for the same reasons I see all of these people in conflict. Anne is on a journey like all of us are. Pray for her, pray for yourselves. This life is fragile and full of detours that I hope will lead us all eventually to Christ. My biggest dilemma right now, at 52 years old is how we got so confused while others THINK they have it figured out.The worst sin is the sin of self-righteousness. I’ve wrestled with God about why there is so much ‘religious’ confusion. I probably wont get my answer in this life, but I know there IS an answer.
Appreciate the hug…
Thank you so much for sharing this. You are encouragement and a blessing. If I may….**HUGS!!!**
Peggy: I miss Michael and his voice. He possessed so much wisdom and a fearlessness when it came to speaking truth. I have not yet read Mere Churchianity but have it on the awaiting stack. Thanks for this good word. I look forward to savoring the time with iMonk again.
Hey, Karen … finished ReJesus a little while ago (and resonated with it a great deal), but I am currently reading Mere Churchianity by Michael Spencer (the iMonk) — and I feel that he is really putting his finger on the issue at hand. At least it is feeling that way for me (I’m 3/4 of the way through).
Thank you.
Jay: Jez saying that for me, community and corporate worship matters. I understand that it’s a risk — getting involved in the lives of others — you’re bound to be hurt, angry, disappointed, etc. But I came from an experience where the church — the physical embodiment of it — provided me with a community I needed and valued. You can find community a variety of places — bars, country clubs, or the grange hall — but you cannot find it in isolation. We were created and designed for community. When we reject it and strike out solely with Jesus and no one else, we are living contrary to how God created us, and I believe, we miss a blessing, many blessings in the process.
Thanks, Joan, for sharing your experiences and for the book recommendations. Always appreciate hearing about books others are reading and how they speak to them.
Thank you, Linda for sharing ur thots.
Thank you for sharing this. This is the ‘church’ I want people to know. This is the body of Christ, His bride, whom He loves and cherishes. Thank you!
Also!! Ms. Rice should also remember that what is passed as “Christianity” if it opposes the teachings of Jesus is not really going to make it through the final assessment. He is the final judge of these things and knowing that all things will be made clear in time keeps me staying the course and living up to what I’ve obtained. “ReJesus” by Alan Hirsch addresses much of what Ms. Rice has wrestled with; the dilemma of church loosing the heart and soul of Jesus and how to regain that in community…excellent book.
Truth be told, as a Christ follower we are really called to family, warts ‘n all unfortunately. To remain ‘committed to Christ’ as Ms. Rice mentions is to obey the teachings of Jesus which is not done in isolation. Yes, it’s tiring and disheartening but to practice the love of God is to practice in the context of relationship. I held on in a toxic church for 9 years with repeated abuses and disillusionment and then God provided the desires of my heart, a newly formed body committed to individual and communal repentance. All that I felt a church should be while in the toxic environment was actually being prepared while I suffered. I learned so much as I leaned heavily into Jesus for understanding for I was truly confused and then beyond my wildest hopes and dreams He provided an answer to my hunger. I suddenly found myself in a place where leaders were leading through their brokenness and confessed weakness not through a false sense of victory and denial of sinful realities within. Even while in the toxicity of the legalistic immature environment of the previous body I knew that I needed to stay but prayed for God’s timing in handing my walking papers. Since I knew that was my call, He sustained me in my sorrow. At the right time God brought me into an environment where I could live out this quote: the best critique of the bad is the practice of the better.
I shall remain a “Church Alumni.” I would suggest that you have said some nice things but when you look at the specifics that you edited out I will stick with Ms Rice. I would suggest that you read the book “The Laughing Jesus – Religious Lies and Gnostic Wisdom.” by Timothy Freke and Peter Grandy for a different perspective on Christianity as it is practiced today.
Wow. Thank you for beautiful clarity!
Karen, I’m a Believer. In Portuguese,”Eu sou crente.
It’s interesting: if we’ve not yet been where Ms.Rice is, one day we will be. Ï follow Christ. I am in the company of others who follow Him. But HE is the one I follow. Everyone else will fail me. He never will.
You said it very well! THANK YOU
Roger – I’ve read many things about the KoG. My husband and I have taught about it. I am a citizen in it. But I’ve never heard it like this, in such a few words. Thank you!
Please,I would like to quote you…. but how? as AF Roger?
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I simply just loved this Karen, I sometimes wonder if I agree with you and think the same way because of where we were both raised !!! : )) Ya think????
Thank you, River, for sharing your thoughts. So many who come to this page have struggled with their own conflicted emotions over what it means to belong to the flawed community of Believers.
I have so many feelings rumbling through me on both Anne Rice’s statement (the first time I’ve read it) and your response that I’m a bit of a loss for words. It is the confusion I believe that the word Christianity now evokes confusing it with some nebulous unknown American political party, or throwing into a pool full of ambiguous confusions resulting in strange tug of wars with words. Being a Christian means believing in Christ and embracing the words and heart of Jesus as a follower. Often I find that I describe myself as “A Believer” for the very reason Ms. Rice seems to have taken her stand. I don’t want my disclosure of who I am, what I am to give one an assumption of my ideals and values or the way that I would perceive them in relation to others who are free to make their own choices. Thank you Karen as always for being fearless with your words and in your life. I will certainly share and pass this along.
Love and Blessings,
River
Thanks for that reminder, Nancy. We all need it.
Did Tim send you a check yet? I keep telling him to.
Love that dustings and glimmers line, Roger.
Thank you, Bri, for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Thanks, Dave. Glad all that practice is being put to good use.
Bring me that baby. I don’t have any grandkids yet.
Thanks, James.
Carrie:
If you do, I hope you’ll find a community as sweet as the one I attend. Blessings…ksz
Karen, that was a beautiful depiction of what happens when flawed human beings keep trusting in our heavenly father and His amazing son, Jesus Christ. We have to take our eyes off of the failures of our imperfect “family” members and keep our eyes on HIM!!!
Thank you!!!!!
Karen, you take my breath away. This post left me in tears but with my soul stronger. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
2K years ago Jesus also found people getting stuck on the wrong words. Jesus didn’t opt out of Judaism, but he also didn’t opt into Christianity which is not something he started. We can cut and wrap Christianity because it’s a human product; but Jesus was all about the kingdom of God (KoG), something that (thankfully) defies human control and human defeat. In the people you saw around you in church, you saw the dustings and glimmers of KoG. We can’t know the Christ without knowing KoG, and we can’t know KoG without knowing Christ. Ponder Jesus’ parables as spoken miracles, and observe his miracles as enacted parables. It’s all about KoG.
Lovely. And lovingly written. Thank you for exemplifying what our response to Anne (and others) should be.
Karen:
Thanks for sharing real life in your letter to Ann. I think it is one of the best things you have ever written.
Dave
Well said. To use a trite phrase, don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Of the responses to Ms Rice I have read, this one is by far the best.
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Absolutely beautiful…thank you Karen, I may have to go back o church myself:)